Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless

Kenny Powers needs to get into the real world crack down on this Florida high school baseball player.

Alert: There is no whimsy in this post

The Boston Craigslist killer story hit ridiculously close to home for me while I was trying to research a paper on the death penalty tonight. The guy is a 22-year-old medical student at BU and looks like any number of dudes you might see at the Cask'n Flagon on any night between March and November.

What really made it even more bizarre was seeing his wedding website, and particularly the Guest Book, neither of which I will link to, and which I could only read for a couple of minutes before I wanted to puke. On one hand, I can understand anonymous internet commenters desire to mine a rich vein of comedy, but the thought of what his fiance must be feeling and doing right now made me close my browser quickly. The only bright spot was that for almost every terrible comment there was one reassuring her by implicitly sending the message that while nobody REALLY knows what another person is like, it may have saved her life this twisted fuck got caught sooner rather than later.

Also, this story made me realize how bullshit I am for relating so quickly to a criminal who is demographically similar to me while virtually ignoring the feelings of those close to all of the other heinous criminals whose backgrounds and life circumstances I can't relate to.

For some lighter news: http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Sex-Offender-Takes-Bite-Out-of-Crime-Chomps-Own-Penis.html

The pinnacle of comedy

Regardless of how witty or insightful your attempt at humor is, I don't think you will ever find anything better than this. My apologies to people who have been trying very hard to be funny for a very long time.

The House that Tuefel Built

The Onion has some good commentary about some of the features at the Mets' brand new CitiField. While they were at it, the Mets should have also considered installing a larger-than-life "Generation K" diorama featuring Paul Wilson, Jason Isringhausen and Bill Pulsipher in action.

And maybe, in order to enhance its Queens community relations, the team could donate a huge Felipe Lopez and Zendon Hamilton mural to St. Johns.

Happy Easter

Not everyone loves your flavor, ese

I hope my friends who are sharing a hotel room this weekend down in Georgia for the Masters take note of this story. My warning is particularly timely since some of them have been eating nothing but Mexican food for a fortnight.

RIP Agent Double-Zero

It sucks to start the blogging season on a tragic note, but I need to pay tribute to one of my favorite NBA punchlines (second only to Kurt Rambis). Kevin Duckworth, a quality human being and athletically unspectacular yet successful seven-footer, died yesterday. The details are still unclear, but I'm hoping The Duck passed as a result of sharp elbows to the breadbasket.